April 2006

Crossposted on Catnip:

My answer to everyone who wants to know how things are going.

It’s 9 p.m. I just got home from the grocery store with dinner. Today, I managed to accomplish the following:

• Edit an article for the magazine
• Get source approval on another article
• Get reminder email about birthday lunch for coworker
• Send protest email that birthday lunch is actually scheduled for tomorrow
• Receive email that date was changed and I am mistaken
• Attend birthday lunch
• Rush home from lunch to madly clean condo
• Interrupt mad cleaning of condo to call hair stylist, pet sitter (for our honeymoon), reception musician, and florist
• Finish mad cleaning of condo 15 minutes prior to arrival of real estate agent
• Conduct two-hour meeting with said real estate agent in which she tells me the condo is wonderful, but it’s a buyer’s market. She will work miracles for us, but I need to make sure D is realistic about what we can sell it for. Oh, and we need to get her a mountain’s worth of data on everything from our average monthly utility cost to a receipt for the last time we had the HVAC serviced by next Tuesday. --Hey, no problem! I’m not busy or anything.–

All of which might explan why I found myself at 8:45 p.m. standing in line at Whole Foods in my house slippers.

To fulfill the requirements for bringing our cats to Korea, I had to get all of the immunizations updated by this Wednesday or risk falling under the 30-day rule for the rabies vaccine. (All animals must have had their annual rabies shot more than 30 days before entry into the country.) So, I set out with an ambitious plan to take all three cats to the vet on Saturday morning.
Two of the cats weren’t happy, but they went along peacefully. The other one (the one looking deceptively tranquil in this photo) put up a serious fight.

I wrestled with her for the better part of an hour tryiing to grab her and get her in the carrier. Nothing doing. She hates being picked up.

I couldn’t get a grip on the scruff of her neck because she kept hunching up and drawing her head down toward her (surprisingly) muscular frame. She darted under furniture and behind large appliances. She wiggled, she scratched, she bit.

I ended up with a pretty mangled left index finger and an angry cat sitting on top of the fridge. I hate to admit this, because she barely weighs five pounds! But I relented and took just two cats.

On Monday, I tried appealing to her baser instincts. I sprinkled some catnip in the back of the cat carrier. I didn’t think she’d go for it. But when I came back into the room after getting a glass of water, she was completely inside the carrier with just the tip of her tail showing. I quickly shut the door and latched it without even a fight.

She was on her best behavior at the vet, which made everyone there think I was such a wuss for not being able to bring her two days earlier. By the time I got her across town, though, I think she knew she was outgunned and just needed to get it all over with.

I wonder what kind of long-term memory cats have and whether this will work for the trip next time.

If you asked me two years ago, I would have said I wasn’t a big believer in opposites attract. Compatability. A similar outlook. That’s the ticket long-term happiness.

That was before I fell in love with the eternal optimist. And, when I say optimist, I mean the sort of person who believes the laws of physics and forces of nature are likely to alter course in his favor, if only his heart is pure. Myself? I am more of the “if something bad can happen, it probably will” persuasion.

This has led to some interesting moments in our relationship. Case in point:

I opened my email yesterday to find myself cc’d on a message between David and the person at the relocation company scheduling our movers. Among other lots of helpful information was the suggestion that the 17th of May would be a great day for the movers to arrive to begin packing our stuff.

As it was about 9:30 a.m. in Atlanta and 10:30 p.m. in Seoul. I checked to see if David was still online. He was. I IM’d him and demanded an instant virtual sitdown. The conversation went something like this:

DaveinSeoul: Hey

Me: Hey! I can’t believe you waited until two weeks before the wedding to tell me you smoke crack!

DaveinSeoul: What?! What are you talking about? I don’t smoke crack!

Me: Really? Because I would think that only someone who is really high on crack would think that we could be ready for the movers the day after we get back from our honeymoon!

DaveinSeoul: Oh man! I thought we got back on the 15th!

Me: Like that would be enough time?! But no, we get back on the 16th. I sent you the itinerary. I thought we’d have at least a week to get ready.

DaveinSeoul: Oh, well. OK. We can change it. Would the 18th be better?

Me: [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] No.

I should point out that not only do we have to get our posessions in order before we are ready to leave, we also have to get veterinary health certificates for our three cats and get them stamped by the USDA. Sell his car. Finish his taxes. (We got an extension.) Meet with the realtor again. And that’s not even counting time to say goodbye to friends, eat and sleep.
He knows all of this. And I think he’s decided that the best way to handle stressful situations…given my tendency to panic and start chewing on my hair…is to present me with a totally unacceptable plan, keeping what he really wants to do in reserve.

It’s a strategy that works pretty well, I have to admit. Just like my strategy of (usually) agreeing to consider some of his more outlandish plans and waiting for reality to sink in. (”You want to have 30 people over to our apartment for a housewwarming the Friday after we get there? Well, sure! Sounds like a great idea. That will be plenty of notice! We can serve them on really cute paper plates! I am sure they won’t mind sitting on the floor since our furniture won’t be there yet. What? Maybe we should wait? Hmmm….okay…if you really think so.)

I have to say his optimism and adventurous spirit are two of the things I love most about him. He keeps me from taking myself and our day-to-day stresses too seriously. He encourages me to try things I think I can’t do. And, I help him keep things down to earth when we really need to. For the most part, we do have similar interests and goals. But, we often have very different ways of approaching things. That’s become especially obvious over these past few months apart. We are not the same. But we complement each other. We balance each other out.

After some discussion, we decided the movers could get here to pack on the 23rd. That will give just under a week, but hopefully get us packed in time to be out of the country ahead of the Memorial Day weekend travel chaos and give us a few days together in Seoul before he has to be back in the office.

Of course, if he’d presented this plan to be at first, I would have gone beserk over not having at least a week to prepare. Now, I’m just incredibly relieved to anything over 12 hours to prepare. See how that works?