Not ready for this belly

I have to say it: Motherhood.com rocks. Rocks it like Metallica.

Just when I was down to only one pair of pants and one skirt that I could wedge myself into, my ship(ment) came in. Since Plan B was to ask my boss whether it would really be out of the question to wear my drawstring pajama pants to work, this is definitely a good thing.

I placed my order on Monday and chose to pay extra for two-day shipping in the hope that I’d get my clothes within a couple of weeks or so—hoping against hope that the above-mentioned clothing items could hold out that long. My past experience with ordering from the few U.S.-based online retailers who will ship to non-military addresses overseas is that—no matter what the website says—it will take at least three weeks and maybe up to a month for the package to get here.

Imagine my surprise when, exactly two days later, I got my order! Right to my door. Everything I ordered, looking exactly like I expected it to—and it fit!

What’s that you say? Don’t they have maternity clothes in Korea? Of course they do. Lots of them. Cute stuff. The only problem is that they are designed to fit the typical Korean female body type. Of which I am distinctly not. Not even close, apparently.

Clothes shopping here has been something of an exercise in humiliation even before I got pregnant. I’m not sure who was more embarrassed—me or the saleslady at the Levi Store—when the only pair of jeans that would fit me were found in the men’s section.

Full disclosure: I weighed 138 pounds at 5 feet 5 inches tall before I got pregnant. Certainly no one is going to want to put me on a runway any time soon, but I didn’t think I was exactly in “freak o’ nature” territory, either. I think the real issue is that, while I have a reasonably narrow waist and torso, my hips are definitely wider than most women here. So, even the “largee” size things don’t fit me correctly.

(Don’t even ask about the looks I’ve gotten when looking for shoes that might fit my monstrous U.S. size 9.5 feet.)

Thank God for Motherhood.com. Right now, I think if I could have its baby, I probably would.